DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenage girl and I often ask my father for permission to go somewhere with friends or to do certain things and he rarely says yes. It's almost as if I know he's going to deny my request before I even finish explaining what it is.

I get it that he's trying to protect me, and he wants to make sure I won't get into trouble. But not every situation I'm asking for permission to attend is ripe with danger. Some of them should gain easy approval, especially when I'm going over to study at a close girlfriend's house. In fact, my parents both know this girl's parents and approve of the family.

Why do you think it is that my father almost always automatically tells me no to everything I want to do, and how do I figure a way to get the occasional "yes" instead of "no?" — Denied 98% of the Time, via email

DENIED 98% OF THE TIME: I suggest that you self-edit your requests starting right away so that you're making fewer requests to your parents, especially your father.

You likely know which requests you're making that are indeed "long shots" that will be denied no matter how much you try to explain them. So don't even bring those up, and just accept that you're not going to be able to attend those events. Then start your next request by asking for something that, as you put it, should be an easy approval. Instead of requesting your parents within the first sentence of your discussion with them, explain what is going on and how valuable it would be if you had a study partner, for example. Then state that your friend is available, her mother will be home and there in the house the entire time, and that this will really help you with your studies and your grade in this particular class. You could even take the step of giving that lady's phone number to your parents at the time you ultimately make the request.

I feel this gives you the best chance at success, rather than making a high volume of requests all of the time, several of which you know are going to be denied immediately. After you are able to secure a few positive responses, you can slowly and gradually similarly expand your requests to other aspects (and outings) that you wish to receive permission for. And always be sure to mention the good points and guardrails that may exist as you make those future requests.

MY DOG'S FAVORITE TOY IS LONG GONE

DR. WALLACE: I have a pet dog that I received as a birthday gift back in March. He's a good boy and he behaves pretty well for a young dog. Over the holidays, our family was traveling so I had to board my dog in an overnight dog care facility in our town. My mother found the location at the last minute before we traveled.

I dropped off my dog and gave the people there one of his favorite toys that he likes to chew on. I was worried about him the whole time we were gone, but I was quite relieved when we got home and my dog was happy, healthy, and ran up to greet me.

But before we left, I asked about my dog's favorite toy and they said they would check to see where it was. Ten minutes later, they came back to the front desk and told me they couldn't find it, but they would keep looking for it. A week has passed, and they never did find it. I bought this toy for him with my own money that I made by babysitting.

Can I force this business to buy me a new one for him? — They Lost My Dog's Favorite Toy, via email

THEY LOST MY DOG'S FAVORITE TOY: Unfortunately, you've apparently learned a hard lesson. Not every person, or business for that matter, is 100% reliable. You can certainly go back to that business and ask them if they're willing to replace the item that is now missing, and if you do this, bring a picture of it with you.

In the future, the key would be to document any item carefully at the time you check in by taking a picture of it along with your dog and the person you're dropping your dog off to. This way you would have a record of your dog, the specific item and the person who accepted both.

It sounds to me that your family found the quickest and perhaps nearest dog boarding location to drop off your beloved pooch. Now that you're not in a rush, you could do some shopping around town to see what other dog boarding centers might be available the next time you need one. You certainly don't have to go back to a business that let you down once already.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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